farwell to AB (ahmad bilal)

Ahmad Bilal (AB) is going to UK for his studies, today me and danish planed to see him, starting with a little background on this person, i met him in my first semester in university, venue was iqra football ground and the venture was the trials for university's football team.
the guy seemed to be a large one and i thought he must be some 30 years old, i liked the thought of watching someone older than me there. he was a nice player, and my admirer as well, we became friends played football alongside. when we met, our only topic of discussion was football, after a passage of like 8 months the topic kind of evolved from football to girls..
i was a must part of his team, and i liked his ancient rivalry with folks at uni as well, as the other topic drew more attention our friendship got stronger and stronger, it took it final turn and got shaped as on its peak, during his relationship with mashal, this was a joint venture in the start, the motive was to "AB start dating Mashal", there wasnt anything for me in this scenario but i dont know why but i just wanted him to be with that girl somehow and anyhow, i loved that time, i was in a non disclosed affair with another girl, who got really upset when i used to spend my time with AB & Co.
things started to change within the group and at a point i realized that i had to take sides, i had to choose between AB and other people, i stood against my realization, and that decision of mine is the reason we are still friends and i admire it.
then things took different turns, my isolation and the gap between us took us through some harsh humps on our way, till this day came..
Christmas eve, me and danish just like yesterday, no change from my side, same financial crisis and even same clothes, no cigaros! LOL
i picked danish from his place, and went for ahmad's, danish got me something to smoke on our way just as yesterday, and the fun fact is that danish was confused again, but this time his confusion was only limited to a fact that would he get a pizza from ahmad or not!
when we got there, sadly no pizza was waiting for us, we chatted about stuff, gave some gay comments, ahmad cursed my choice of girls, and then came kababs, God, that was some compensation (on Danish's behalf). me and danish ate them, then i took small sips of grape juice like i was sipping wine.
now danish's frustration took a turn, he was upset about the pizza, he didnt get one, so he wanted ahmad's football shoes, which he called cleats.
now that was a favor danish you ended up increasing my vocabulary, but nothing else, because ahmad was not in a mood to look all around his house in search of them,
now all this time i have spent with AB, i know when he doesnt want to do something, first he portrays that he doesnt know of it, then when he watches that the other person is not buying what he is saying, he switches to 'Laara', and same happened he said visit me on Sunday, i will surely give them to you,
now danish he also understands AB a lot, he knew that Sunday is never coming, he asked for them again and again, and then again and AGAIN,,
my eye was on the huge collection of dvd's that he possessed, but as i glanced them, ahmad had the idea of my intentions, i drew back.
but danish was like he found the love of his life and he wont let it go!
but he had to let it go, after a session of a million girlish snaps, we came back home, (obviously eating a roll-paratha on our way)
 for ahmad i wish you all the best for all your life ahead, i wish we catch up again soon, but from my perspective that soon seems to be far far away..
God, i will miss the football, but i will miss you more!

23rd december..

It seemed to be a rough nite wen i woke up at like 4 in the evening, my eyes were hurting and i felt a need for more sleep.. even after sleeping for 8 hours. i woke up many times between my sleep and wondered that i had a plan for today.. 'A Big Plan' actually wen u dont have much to do, small things seem to be big, and for a guy like me, it was quite big to help a friend. Danish was my friend from uni, we met about a year ago, and spent 3 months for really knowing each other. yesterday he called me and said that he have to visit papasalis to meet sum friends of my bhabi and he didnt want to go alone, i was happy that he choose me to go with him,
so basically it was the thought that i have to go with danish, that kept me awake, actually wen u re suffering from insomnia, u re never really awake or asleep,,
so i woke up feeling quite good but sleepy, had my breakfast in my bed(in evening), and then after like one and a half hour i started to get ready, i remembered the orders from danish that he wanted me to look good, so i tried to dress up accordingly.
he came at like 6 30 and we instantly left, we had to get sum fuel, so we stopped at the nearest gas station, there was quite a big queue, and being a pakistani its in my blood to be restless,, so i cursed the government and the people and everyone,, coz they were making me wait for so long..
now the interesting fact for today was that i left for the place without a single penny in my pocket, no balance in my cell and nothing to smoke..
despite staying at the queue for gas for a long 15 minutes we reached before other people,, danish had to exchange sum gifts for bhabi,, he had 2000 in his pocket, he was my sponsor for today, he had to pay for the dinner, he had to pay for the gas, he had to buy me fags, and even i forgot my lighter..lol
he was quite confused as well, not mainly about the money,, there were things on his mind..that were making him restless and confused..
we reached there and waited in the cold my first demand was fags,, but danish was refraining to leave the meeting place,, but he sumhow got convinced and i smoked a cigaro after quite long, then we just walked outside our spot 'the papasalis cuisine' and somehow i noticed a cute girl checking me out, and her friend as well,, but i was sort of not into her,, but i liked her checking me out thinge..
they finally arrived, there were two guys a friend of bhabi his name was salman and his cousin,, i dun remember his name (but he was a nice guy) after hand shakes we went in.. it was awkward at first, danish was really confused while all of us were checking what to order,, we ordered two pizzas and sum garlic bread and sum shrimps..(i didnt even taste em!!)
the conversation started from danish's gifts to studies and then future and stuff.. they told him the realities and danish looked even more confused,,
he was confused wen he left home with me, he got more confused in the way(coz of God knws wt) and after the conversation he was even more confused..and the biggest confusion is yet to come..
then salamn turned to me and asked me wt instrument i play..
the famous musical discussion started from pinkfloyd to metallica and from faraz anwer to amir zaki..
and i started liking the thoughts of the guy.. its in my metal blood to respect other headbangers..
by the time the meal arrived it was all good, except for danish..
we had our meal with nice lil conversations..
and then came the check..
the bill was unbelievably more than we anticipated,, he had sum 1700 in his pocket and the bill said he had to pay sum 3400 bucks...
that was really shocking and i was looking at danish's face and all his confusion was gathered at one point...WT NEXT!!
he refrained from paying the bill and after a though few moments salman said lets share it.. and danish agreed..without any conditions..A RELIEF!!
i was the one exempted from paying anything.. thats the advantage of not carrying anything in your wallet..Except for ID of course..
goodbyes were offered and we left the place, while thinking what possible harm could have occurred,, if  danish had to pay all of it...
there was no answer to the question,, danish seemed more confuse,,
and i was like 'Carpe diem'
he promised me that he would tag me in a thanking status on facebook..
but after 5 hours now i see a status that is reflecting the things on his mind.. he is pissed off at everything..
in the end it was a nice day for me,, but a really rough one for danish,, thanks danish for the time,, i liked it!!
and dont get pissed at me.. I WONT GIVE U UR BIRTHDAY PRESENT..LOL

today it was dark nd hell

today it ws dark nd hel
but u came to me
today i felt so estranged
but u came to me
u came to me in a way so true
that i wont ever forget
u pushed away my misery
without uttering a single let
in tha last one i told u
that you means only u
in ths one its so obvious
that you could only be u
i told u that i can give my life
anytime u want me to
coz
sumthngs just a part ov me
if u take a single step for me
i ll take a thousand for u!

The science of sleep

me mom and bro.. we were all in sadar eating murgh pulao sumwhere in saddar,, its a cloudy morning.. it wasnt haq baho or tasty. but it was good, dont remember but i guess it took me quite an effort to reach the table where we were sitting to eat,,
and that was sum 2nd or 3rd floor i guess the table where we had to eat is beside a window,, which makes me feel that its sum kind of murree scenery,,
we ate it all but i still felt hungry or wanting..
we all are in quite a guud mood and shape.. which is obviously impossible,, coz either i wont be tawking with my brother or my mom nd bro would be fighting over sum thing..

then we were in our old house, its mornig or noon tym, and im in drawin room with dont knw how manyy ppl, ppl are coming from the outside,
amanat qadir, molvi sahib, zia with beard uni wala, atif bhai, chishti molvi
molvi saab came to me and met me quite rudly nd asked for my brother streight away
i told him that molvi saab is here to see u
i came back in and resided at the bed of big kamra in old town house wid mom and dad
told em k molvi saab didnt seem to be oki
then in the next moment i was in the drawing room nd i saw bro and atif bhai showing sum afidavite to molvi saab and zia
after that zia launched an attack on my bro in which he got quite speechless
everybody was well dressed wearing suits..
mom showed up out ov nowhere and said k zia u dont knw wen hes gonna speak tou hum bhi iskay agay nai bol suktay ye apni daleeloo se sub ko chup kerwa daita hai,, the thought came to my mind that is mom saying that in her son's defence or against him,
coz she said it in a tone in which she was protecting and defending him.. but only i knew the true meaning of what she wanted to say..
i started listening to what zia said. and his conversation was quite disturbing,, he seemed to be talking with the sole intention to bring my brother down to his knees
he said u and ur wife are nt human beings u killed her tum loag ko sharam nai ati
tum loag uskay face pe jootay maar rahay thay..he saw sum kind ov video.. i thought he was talkin about shahnaz but then he said how old was he? my brother replied he was 8 or ten i dun rem.. he had all the legal terms fixed and he wasnt touchable,

zia swore him and said k i wont leave u for the deed u made, and his expressions showed that he was quite sincere to his motive and really wanted to take him to the ground who was cool buit a lil sad..with the sense ov guilt..
zia stood up to hit my brother.. but he was still sitting cool maybe he wasnt able to watch the faces of ppl with disgrace..
and i jumped accross the table and told zia if u wana come to my brother u ld hav to pass thru me.. a lot of pictures clicked in my mind at that tym.. first was the sultan incident in the ground wen my brother did a lot for me,, that converted to the thought k what im doing rite nw can it bring our relations bak to the glorious past as they used to be..
in a split second i decided weather they r cumin back or nt im still doing this coz hes still my brother,,
and i stepped between him and zia.. hit zia with my my fist to get him to the floor i pulled him up on the table and held the table upon my shoulder and threw him out of the main gate from above the gate without opening it.. after throwing him i opened the gate to see his miserable face wt i saw was sum piece of mass visible lying with his head touching his knees side ways then i came back in.. everyone was gone and home was quite normal, bhabi also joined the scene but didnt had any prominent part in this scenario.. my computer was in the buda kamra where it used to to sum 6 or 7 yrs ago...
i had sum things which i didnt want my brother to see..
the next moment he was using my pc ...
but he was still quite chup chup with me i thought what i did today.. even this didnt make a difference..

the third scene is wen i and yasir are walkin thru some strange looking area its evening or nite tym i dun knw where we are going theres a lot of garbage at our sides suddenly yasir tells me to climb the bridge we have to walk to make our way to the other side,, yani our destination.. by other side i dont mean actual other side.... still dont knw where we are heading..
wen i watch that bridge the climbing to the roof of the hut gets into my mind, there was a kind of a hut a comon sitting place on the way to pir sohawa.. where all us friends went and climbed on the roof and sat there for sum tym.. actually it was difficult for me to climb that or to get bak on ground from the roof..
it seemed that climbing and grabing the stairs of that bridge also seemed to be quite a difficult job just like the roof
but wen i did it tou it was quite easy nuthing compared to that..
i climed and grabed the stairs yasir was already there and we walked our way thru the stairs to the bridge.. it was sumthing like solid concreate stairs like the ones which used to be at lahore train station..
we walked and saw trains also moving at our level.. we were on a bridge on which pedestrians moved and there was another bridge on which trains moved.. parallel to one one we were on..
we reached the other side and yasir asked sumone the way of the place we were heading to,, he told him to get till the end of the bridge and take the other bridge on the opposite sidee..  basically it was another bridge just parallel to dis one,, and there was only one way human trafic on bridges.. we werent able to get back using the same bridge.. i thought in my mind that if we have to take the parallel bridge that is gona lead us to the place we exacly started.. so does it make any sense..
the first bridge ended we were constantly hearing train horns and chik chik..
we landed on a bunch of garbage..
nd took the other bridge ,, climbing and holding its stairs was a bit more dificult than the previous one,, but we succeeded..and then after a lil walk we saw two young girls crossing us,, i was leading yasir..suddenly a wave produced in the stairs where we were.. all ov us stood at the point we were holding the grills at our sides firmlybut the wave which moved the hole bridge in upthrust seemed to be a never ending one..we took a step after another with firm hand holding the sides..
till i reached the girls, they were now holding a child a 6 or 7 yrs old i guess..i wanted to cross them i said excuse me..
and they moved in the child a lil and asked me to pass her..i tried to but there was very lil space limiting me to the point where i ws standing she moved the child a lil more away the passage in front of me changed to an only left directional passage with a gate at the end i took the pasage with sum difficulties and yasir followed me there i stood against the gate and asked where are we sum voice i dunt who who it was said u re riding the train now and u have to take the rent from passengers as its ur duty coz u re standing in the door..
i didnt reply but thought it was my duty and suddenly a crowd of passengers rushed in sat down on the seats that were nt visible to me when i stepped in there,, yasir was also sitting in one ov the seats and the last scene i remember is wen i was taking rent from the passengers, i was givin it to yasir to record that....